The "Mouth Overloads The Ass" Syndrome Meets Facebook
Back in the day, when I acted up and sassed her, my mom would warn me,"Don't let your mouth overload your ass". Even though I knew that I needed to shut up right then and there, rarely did I.
I'd keep talking and most of the time wouldn't stop until she threatened me with the "ironing cord".It wasn't actually the ironing cord, it came from the electric coffee pot because it was detachable. The cord to the iron was firmly attached. She'd have to beat me with the iron attached and that, I'd imagine, (even in the 1960s), would be grounds for child abuse. Not to mention that fact that the physical act of swinging the whole unit would be awkward. And infinitely more tiring.
But her yanking that pliable, coated in rubber coffee pot cord and wielding it was, generally, my cue to skeedaddle.
She'd double it over a couple of times, hold the connector and the plug in her hand and let loose on the offending child. When she made contact, that fucker hurt. There would be, in most cases, visible welts matching the shape of the cord at the place of impact. Usually the idea was to hit the ass, but more often than not, it was the back of the legs. Jeans helped lessen the damage and God forbid I mouthed off to her while wearing shorts. The welts were immediate and would last a day or two.
Being the middle child of seven kids and constantly on the hunt for her single-parent attention, I was very experienced. Her admonition that "You won't be able to sit down for a week" was a bit of hyperbole, but it wasn't off by much.
But her yanking that pliable, coated in rubber coffee pot cord and wielding it was, generally, my cue to skeedaddle.
She'd double it over a couple of times, hold the connector and the plug in her hand and let loose on the offending child. When she made contact, that fucker hurt. There would be, in most cases, visible welts matching the shape of the cord at the place of impact. Usually the idea was to hit the ass, but more often than not, it was the back of the legs. Jeans helped lessen the damage and God forbid I mouthed off to her while wearing shorts. The welts were immediate and would last a day or two.
Being the middle child of seven kids and constantly on the hunt for her single-parent attention, I was very experienced. Her admonition that "You won't be able to sit down for a week" was a bit of hyperbole, but it wasn't off by much.
Being outspoken has never been a virtue to most of those I've run into of the course of this long life. Being a smart-ass didn't pay. Speaking truth to power never made much of a difference, either.
Then came social media.
Then came social media.
Specifically, Facebook.
For years I could say exactly what was on my mind, word for word. I could let the things I was thinking flow through my fingers to the keyboard and post it. No matter how hateful it was. Regardless of how many of the biggest and best curse words I could muster were contained in the assemblage of everyday words. Then, I'd just move on.
I lose my shit sometimes. It's usually directed at of the abject stupidity of a member of the majority of this country's idiots. They are ubiquitous. I just can't abide stupid people. Unless, of course, I'm the one being stupid and there is rarely anything I wouldn't say to justify it. But other folks? Can't stand them.
As I write this, I'm in day 6 or 7 of 30 day Facebook "suspension". "Facebook Jail" is it's common term. That means you can log into your account, but under no circumstances are you allowed to post anything. Publicly or privately. You're allowed to read what friends, (or enemies) are posting, but there is no avenue to express your opinion because every time you click on the comment link you get this:
Man. That is some harsh shit. As you can see, they list my transgressions; the dates they were committed and the "community standards" they violated.
The punishments are cumulative. First a warning such as "We all make mistakes and so we will allow you to fuck up just this once before you're headed for jail.
Then, if you're me, you fuck up again...and again. And again!
I lose my shit sometimes. It's usually directed at of the abject stupidity of a member of the majority of this country's idiots. They are ubiquitous. I just can't abide stupid people. Unless, of course, I'm the one being stupid and there is rarely anything I wouldn't say to justify it. But other folks? Can't stand them.
As I write this, I'm in day 6 or 7 of 30 day Facebook "suspension". "Facebook Jail" is it's common term. That means you can log into your account, but under no circumstances are you allowed to post anything. Publicly or privately. You're allowed to read what friends, (or enemies) are posting, but there is no avenue to express your opinion because every time you click on the comment link you get this:
The punishments are cumulative. First a warning such as "We all make mistakes and so we will allow you to fuck up just this once before you're headed for jail.
Then, if you're me, you fuck up again...and again. And again!
The first time is a one day suspension.
I have to admit. That was HARD. How the hell will I survive being able to see the posts of treasonous Trump morons yet unable to verbally abuse them and their moronic "thoughts"? Who is going to call them out? Who else will use the perfect word to describe their idiocy? Like dumbass. Asswipe. Fucking moron. Much less the more awesome words contained in streams of consciousness like "motherfucking, cocksucking, dumbshit asshole".
Who, but me, has the balls? Who else has the gravitas?
I thought the one day stint in Facebook Jail was hard. I can't even remember what the offending comment was. But it was a cakewalk compared to the next one: Three days.
The thing was, I have multiple FB accounts and although my personal page was affected, my page for Sechman Ott Borden, which is an entirely different email address and other than my name, is totally separate from my personal account was still active and I could post from that account. So I could post on my personal account that I was in Facebook jail and in a matter of days, will return....and as long as I am a good boy, I can post once again.
That was before the FB drive to bow to the abounding political correctness and it's efforts to kill political and societal disinformation, misinformation and other bullshit commonly known as "Free Speech".
It seems that, in the early days of FB censoring and denying Americans their free speech rights, the posts in questions were reviewed by these things called "people". I suppose someone reads it, says "Oh my fucking God, he said THAT?" Then flips through the book of categories to put it in it's box of violations and hits the "Suspend" button.
Here are my transgressions with an explanation:
If you're into trying to get a handle on what constitutes "bullying", "harassment" or "hate speech", good luck. Some of it makes sense. Most of it is just jive.
What's really alarming is that in the middle of this global pandemic, FB doesn't employ REAL PEOPLE to monitor violations. They now use artificial intelligence or bots or algorithms to seek out key words, like "cocksucker". And these new automated free speech cops deal out their punishments instantaneously. No regard for context. It's all word recognition.
My latest thirty day stint in FB jail was because I posted the word "cocksucker" in response to a post by an insensitive Trump cocksucker. It couldn't have been the fact that I hoped that he'd die a slow and painful death from COVID-19 and that his last breath be painful...it was the word "cocksucker".
I don't use that word lightly. I don't use it as a homophobic slur. I use it as it was taught to me in another time. Another world. Another America. A contemptible person is, to me, a "cocksucker". Look it up. Ask Google. Ask the cocksucker who incurred my wrath, (albeit momentarily).
The instant I hit the "return" key, my jail sentence was imposed. The immediate response from FB's bots was "You are suspended for three days".
Piece of cake, as I had previously survived a whole week for posting, simply "Fucking Christians". That, in FB's squinty eyes, constitutes "Hate Speech".
But it wasn't the word "fucking"alone. It was the word "fucking" used in conjunction with "Christians"! No regard for context. I used it as a phrase of wonderment.
Before that, my three day suspension was for commenting "Fucking Crackers in Crackerland" on a post of heavily armed white supremacists pictured on the steps of the Kentucky state house.
Really? It wasn't the word "fucking". It was either "Cracker" or "Crackerland". That was my "hate speech".
I don't get it. But I've stopped trying. I'm trying to stay alive. Sometimes by trying to avoid the mask-less crackers walking around our local Walmart. And other cocksuckers.
But, I am serving my sentence in FB Jail for not thinking like a bot or AI or a goddamn algorithm.
That is now what letting my mouth overload my ass does.
Beats the hell out of having the hell beat out of me with the "ironing cord".
I think.
I have to admit. That was HARD. How the hell will I survive being able to see the posts of treasonous Trump morons yet unable to verbally abuse them and their moronic "thoughts"? Who is going to call them out? Who else will use the perfect word to describe their idiocy? Like dumbass. Asswipe. Fucking moron. Much less the more awesome words contained in streams of consciousness like "motherfucking, cocksucking, dumbshit asshole".
Who, but me, has the balls? Who else has the gravitas?
I thought the one day stint in Facebook Jail was hard. I can't even remember what the offending comment was. But it was a cakewalk compared to the next one: Three days.
The thing was, I have multiple FB accounts and although my personal page was affected, my page for Sechman Ott Borden, which is an entirely different email address and other than my name, is totally separate from my personal account was still active and I could post from that account. So I could post on my personal account that I was in Facebook jail and in a matter of days, will return....and as long as I am a good boy, I can post once again.
That was before the FB drive to bow to the abounding political correctness and it's efforts to kill political and societal disinformation, misinformation and other bullshit commonly known as "Free Speech".
It seems that, in the early days of FB censoring and denying Americans their free speech rights, the posts in questions were reviewed by these things called "people". I suppose someone reads it, says "Oh my fucking God, he said THAT?" Then flips through the book of categories to put it in it's box of violations and hits the "Suspend" button.
Here are my transgressions with an explanation:
Dec 8, 2020
Your post didn't follow our Community Standards on harassment and bullying
Sep 24, 2020
Your comment didn't follow our Community Standards on hate speech
Aug 11, 2020
Your comment didn't follow our Community Standards on harassment and bullying
Apr 22, 2020
Your comment didn't follow our Community Standards on hate speech
Feb 17, 2020
Your comment didn't follow our Community Standards on hate speech
If you're into trying to get a handle on what constitutes "bullying", "harassment" or "hate speech", good luck. Some of it makes sense. Most of it is just jive.
What's really alarming is that in the middle of this global pandemic, FB doesn't employ REAL PEOPLE to monitor violations. They now use artificial intelligence or bots or algorithms to seek out key words, like "cocksucker". And these new automated free speech cops deal out their punishments instantaneously. No regard for context. It's all word recognition.
My latest thirty day stint in FB jail was because I posted the word "cocksucker" in response to a post by an insensitive Trump cocksucker. It couldn't have been the fact that I hoped that he'd die a slow and painful death from COVID-19 and that his last breath be painful...it was the word "cocksucker".
I don't use that word lightly. I don't use it as a homophobic slur. I use it as it was taught to me in another time. Another world. Another America. A contemptible person is, to me, a "cocksucker". Look it up. Ask Google. Ask the cocksucker who incurred my wrath, (albeit momentarily).
The instant I hit the "return" key, my jail sentence was imposed. The immediate response from FB's bots was "You are suspended for three days".
Piece of cake, as I had previously survived a whole week for posting, simply "Fucking Christians". That, in FB's squinty eyes, constitutes "Hate Speech".
But it wasn't the word "fucking"alone. It was the word "fucking" used in conjunction with "Christians"! No regard for context. I used it as a phrase of wonderment.
Before that, my three day suspension was for commenting "Fucking Crackers in Crackerland" on a post of heavily armed white supremacists pictured on the steps of the Kentucky state house.
Really? It wasn't the word "fucking". It was either "Cracker" or "Crackerland". That was my "hate speech".
I don't get it. But I've stopped trying. I'm trying to stay alive. Sometimes by trying to avoid the mask-less crackers walking around our local Walmart. And other cocksuckers.
But, I am serving my sentence in FB Jail for not thinking like a bot or AI or a goddamn algorithm.
That is now what letting my mouth overload my ass does.
Beats the hell out of having the hell beat out of me with the "ironing cord".
I think.
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